when everything is broken

A Battle of the Bands.

2007-12-24T16:21:00.000+08:00

It was December 20, 2007. I woke up at past 6 in the morning and quickly asked my Mother if she already called my school service. She said that they're going to pick me up at 7.00 in the morning, of course I was frustrated because our Christmas Party will not start until 8.30 am. But okay, I gave up and just took a bath at 6.30. My service did not arrived at 7. That was good. And as much as I want to post my pictures here, I can't because my cellphone's charger is in my province. Don't worry, we'll get to that a bit later. =)

I looked stupid when I arrived in our school because ang rami rami kong bitbit na gift. Damn. But they don't care and I do not care also. Fortunately, when I was in our building already I saw my friend in her classroom already. Kaya hindi ako nagmukhang tanga. Ayun picture picture sa classroom nila while gazing at my crush/her classmate. Oh ghad. He looked so cute. =D My other friend arrived and asked kung bakit ngayon lang ako dumating. I just shrugged and picture taking na ulit. Oh, mind you, we are not vain. I promise you! =P

Everyone dressed for fame and for popularity. Everyone seemed to bought expensive clothes for the Christmas Party. They seemed really prepared for the said activity. Mind you, I am not one of them.

Then we had our Mass, my two classmates were teasing me dahil dalawang seats lang yung pagitan ko sa crush ko. Tss. Ayun, the mass went well. I think this year's my most boring Christmas Party ever. I mean we have no cassette for the music, we don't have any games or something. Good thing that we have a Batch Christmas Party na nangyari after the classroom party. Okay naman yung Batch Party namin, lahat ng section and teachers nagpakitang gilas.

Okay, this is where my adventure starts.

Nagpababa ako sa service ko sa may restaurant bago pumasok sa village namin. And I waited for like ten minutes there, nakabilad ako sa araw at dinadaanan ako ng mga service galing sa school. I looked sooo stupid. Tinawagan ko yung friend ko to ask her if she's still in the school kaso lang nasa bahay na daw siya. Mali kasi yung hinihintay kong jeep eh kaya sabi niya 'Cubao' daw yung sakyan ko. And for Heaven's sake, ilang jeep na yung dumadaan na Cubao. Sh!t. Sumakay kaagad ako sa unang jeep na dumaan and I swear amoy araw na ako. Damn. Ayun nagpababa ako sa Robinsons. Hindi ko pa nga nakita kaagad yung pinsan ko eh. Pero when I called her nagkakitaan naman kami kaagad. Ayun nagpalit kaagad ako ng damit, shirt and short dahil sobrang hindi na ako makakilos sa suot ko.

Pumunta na kami ng LRT at bumaba sa Araneta-Cubao. Then we ate at Jollibee dahil parehas na kaming gutom. Hindi ko alam kung nakaisang oras kami doon, panay kwentuhan eh. Ayun naglakad kami papunta sa may Araneta Colliseum at nag-abang ng bus papunta sa Balagtas, Bulacan. At aba, mag-iisang oras na kaming naghihintay, nakatayo at nakabilad sa araw wala pa rin kaming nakikitang ni anino ng isang bus papunta doon. Kaya sumakay na lang kami sa isang bus, Monumento ata. Pero bumaba kami sa isang bus stop. Sumakay kami sa isang van na deretso Bulacan na. Sa isang lugar dapat kami bababa (sorry nakalimutan ko yung pangalan eh) pero narinig nung pinsan ko yung isang mama na bababa sa may shell. Kaya nakiusap yung pinsan ko makisabay sa kanya dahil super late na ako sa Battle of the Bands ng isa kong pinsan.

Lagpas isang oras din siguro yung biniyahe namin, malapit na kami sa Shell tulog pa si Manong. Kakalabitin na sana nung pinsan ko, tumatawa na nga ako dahil... wala lang. Ayun nagising naman kunyari hindi namin pinapansin. Bumaba na kami sa Shell, ayun alam niyo ba kung ano yung daanan na sinasabi ni Manong? Butas lang, mas malaki pa yung one-fourth ng illustration board. Seryoso. Nakawit nga ako eh. Hanggang ngayon meron pa rin yung sugat. Tapos nagkamali pa kami ng daan dahil akala ko nung pinsan ko doon yung labasan, naputikan pa yung kaliwang paa at sapatos ko tapos dumaan pa kami sa nakaliit na tulay na pinagconnect connect lang na kahoy. Nakihugas na lang yung pinsan ko ng paa doon sa bahay na nakita namin. Siya yung nagsabi sa amin na mali yung dinaanan namin. Ayun bumalik kami sa tulay at syempre hindi na doon sa putikan. Naglakad kami doon sa kabilang daan na sinasabi nung ni Manang. Mukha kaming napunta sa desyerto sa dinaan namin. Lost na lost talaga yung itsura namin. Hindi namin alam na yung labasan pala na sinasabi ni Manang eh private property kaya nakiusap na lang kami. Sakto namang tumawag yung pinsan ko, kasi five o'clock na. Eh 4 yung usapan namin. Hindi nga naniniwala na malapit na kami eh. Wala pang tricycle na dumadaan. Ayun within a minute dumating na yung tricycle at finally nakarating na rin kami sa bahay ng pinsan ko.

To think na kapag umuuwi kami ng Bulacan by car, wala pang isang oras nandoon na kami. Pero nung kaming dalawa na lang nung pinsan ko, halos umabot kami ng limang oras.

Pagkadating ko sa bahay nila, aba minadali ako ng magaling ko pinsan. Edi nagbihis kaagad ako at naghugas ng paa. Isang shoulder bag na lang yung dinala ko with my cellphone and stuffs. Kasama naming umalis yung dalawang friend ng pinsan ko.

Pagkarating namin sa school nila, hindi pa naman nagsisimula. Nakahawak nga lang ako sa pinsan ko nun at sinasabi sa kanya na 'Huwag niya akong iiwan'. haha. Pero naisipan kong tumawag kay Linette. Nung una hindi siya sumasagot, na-meet ko na yung boyfriend ng pinsan ko. Finally, nagkita na rin kami. haha. Pinakilala niya din ako sa mga classmates and friends niya. Ayun, nagsimula na yung battle of the bands. Kinuha kami ng upuan nung boyfriend ng pinsan ko.

At as usual, nakatulala lang ako sa stage at kunyaring pinapanood yung mga bwisit na kumakanta. At syempre, hindi mawawala yung pang-aasar nung pinsan ko at nung boyfriend niya. Tinitignan nila akong dalawa. Wala lang. Nangaasar lang talaga. Sinasabi nga nung pinsan ko nung unang nagkita yung isa naming pinsan tsaka yung bf niya, sinuntok kaagad nung pinsan namin yun eh. Samantalang ako pormal na pormal. Ngumiti lang ako nun at napaisip. Hindi kasi ako outgoing na tao eh. Madaldal ako sa mga kaclose ko at kakilala ko. Pero syempre nahihiya ako. hihi. Nang nag-aabang na kami sa number nung boyfriend nung pinsan ko, tumawag naman sila Mama. Ayun dahil hindi ko naririnig, tumayo ako at pumunta sa likod para makausap sila.

Tinatanong lang ako kung nandoon na ba ako sa school, kung anong oras ako dumating at kung ano ano pa. Nagulat nga ako nung biglang sumunod yung pinsan ko eh. Yun pala pinasunod nung boyfriend niya, sabi nung pinsan ko, sabi ng bf niya sa kanya, 'sundan mo yun! baka kung... blah blah'. Nakakatawa. Ang OA! Joke.

Nung sila na yung kumanta, I mean yung boyfriend nung pinsan ko. Kinakabahan daw ang bruha kong pinsan at para siya yung kakanta. Only One yung kinanta nila na una, okay naman pero medyo sumasablay tapos yung second song nila yung Rebound ng Silent Sanctuary. Hindi ko alam kung may mali ba or something dahil nun ko lang narinig yun. Magaling yung bf niya. Yung boses niya, okay.

At dahil sobrang gulo nung mga kasamahan ng pinsan ko, tumayo ako sa upuan ko at pumunta sa may likod. Nakakairita lang kasi eh. I mean, nakakabibingi lang kasi. Medyo hindi na rin ako nagulat ako nung sinundan ako nung dalawa, tinanong nung pinsan ko sa akin kung bakit daw ako umalis. Sabi ko maingay sila. Tinanong ko kung pwedeng sa likod na lang kami umupo. Nag-okay lang silang dalawa at kumuha na sila ng upuan.

Ayun, ilang oras din kaming naghintay. Naglalandian nga kami ng pinsan ko doon sa picture ng second cousin namin na sooooooooooobrang gwapo. Yun pala nasa likod lang namin. Oh god, kung kilala niyo lang yung pinsan namin na iyon, sobranggggg sungit.

Yung boyfriend naman nung pinsan ko biglang nawala sa mood. Nainis nga ako eh kasi parang naging isang malaki akong handlang sa kanilang dalawa. Kasi nung napansin ko na parang galit siya, yun pala sabi niya sa pinsan ko na samahan daw ako. Ayun pinilit ko yung pinsan ko na kausapin siya. Inaantok lang daw. Ganun pala yun kapag inaantok eh. Nakakainis.

Bumalik na ulit kami sa may harap ng stage at doon daw sila pinapapunta ng teacher nila, inaantok na ako nun nung may mga nag-iingay pa rin sa stage. Nakasandal na nga ako sa upuan nung pinsan ko nun eh, pagising gising lang ako nun. Nagulat nga ako nung isang time na pagkagising ko nakatingin na sa akin yung pinsan ko. Natawa na lang siya. Epal.

Nag-announce na ng winners, unfortunately hindi nanalo yung band nung pinsan ko. Well, they are good, okay na yun. At least nakapagperform sila. Diba? Ayun nagkayayaan na. Pagkalabas namin sa school nila, hindi ko alam kung bakit kami tumigil sa paglalakad. Nakahawak lang ako sa kamay ng pinsan ko. May muntikan na ngang magsuntukan eh tapos parang may nag-aaya pang magsuntukan. Sinabi ko sa pinsan ko na ayoko na doon, mangiyak ngiyak na nga ako eh. Ayun umalis naman kami nun.

Nagyaya sila na kumain kami ng mami, tinanong ako nung pinsan ko kung gusto ko. Tinanong ko kung pwede ba kaming gabihin lalo dahil almost 9 na rin ng gabi nun. Sabi niya okay lang kaya umoo na ako. Nagkasya kaming pito sa tricycle. Tahimik lang ako nun at hindi pa rin makaget-over sa nangyari pagkalabas namin sa school nila.

Nang makarating kami sa Macky's. Nag-order lang ako ng mami tapos sila tapsilog. Kumain na kami ng tahimik, ako naman pinaglalaruan lang yung pagkain dahil... fine, inaamin ko, gusto kong makita nun yung mama ko. hihi. Ayun sabi ng pinsan ko sa akin, nahihiya daw yung boyfriend niya sa akin. Aba bakit naman?! Tsss.

Pagkatapos naming kumain, nakita ko yung dalawang kasamahan ng pinsan ko. Nakaakbay yung isa sa isa (hope you get it) at sinabi na, bigla na lang daw may sumuntok na lasing na tambay doon sa inaakbayan niya. Ayun tinanong nung bf nung pinsan ko kung nasaan at may balak pa atang resbakan. Pinagsasabihan na nga nung pinsan ko eh. At eto pa, yung isa naming kasama ulit na friend nung pinsan ko. Umiiyak at gusto na daw mamatay. Pumunta na nga sa kalsada eh. Patigil tigil kami sa paglalakad nun dahil doon sa umiiyak at doon sa may sumuntok.

Binubulong sakin nung pinsan ko na mamaya daw ikwento niya lahat lahat sa akin. Nakangiti lang ako nun habang nakahawak ng mahigpit sa kamay niya. Sinabi ko lang sa kanya, 'gusto ko lang umuwi' tapos ang rami rami pang nangyari. Waah talaga.

Then pinagmasdan ko yung bf niya tsaka yung umiiyak na friend niya. Parang ang galing lang nung bf niya, parang ang caring niya na friend. Walaa lang. Kasi never pa talaga ako nakakita na lalaki na ganun eh. Superman talaga yun. ahaha.

Umuwi na kami ng bahay na bangag na bangag na. Pumasok kami sa kwarto nung pinsan ko at nagpahinga muna sandali. Nakahiga ako nun sa higaan niya habang nanood ng PBB, akala ko kasi nagtetext lang yung pinsan ko kaya kinanta ko yung Only One. Yun pala kinakausap na yung boyfriend! Nakakahiyaaaaaaaa!

Nagkwentuhan na kami nun. Ang habang storya talaga.

1.30 na rin ako natulog nun dahil gumawa pa ako ng special gift sa kanilang dalawa! HAHA!

December 21, 2007.

Sa isa kong pinsan ako nagstay yung kasabay kong umuwi sa Bulacan. Maghapon lang kaming nanonood. Oh well, pinanood namin yung One More Chance. HAAAAAAAAAY. Ang ganda talaga nun. Ayun napagpasyahan naming sunduin ang aming dearest cousin sa Christmas Party nila. Naglakad lang kami papunta sa may kanto sa school nila. Sakto na nandoon na yung pinsan ko at mga dabarkads niya. At shet, doon na sinimulang ubuhin dahil sa bwisit na sigarilyo na nasinghot ko. BWISSEETT! Nakakatuwa nga yung anak nung pinsan ko eh, sabi niya sa anak niya na bless daw kay Ninong (doon sa bf nung pinsan ko) ayun at nagbless nga! ahaha.

Umalis na kami kaagad at umuwi sa bahay. Aba'y inuubo na ako nun. Tsk tsk. Maaga na kami natulog nun para may power kami kinabukasan. At aba, 11.30 yata nung nagising ako at napagpasyahan ko na matulong na lang sa bangko sa tabi ng higaan para hindi na ako patayo tayo.

December 22, 2007

Pumunta kami ng Trinoma dahil sa dentist appointment ko. Ayun napagpasyahan ko na na umuwi na sa bahay namin. Well I know that's a good choice dahil natuluyan na akong hikain.

December 23, 2007

Nagpahinga lang ako sa bahay buong maghapon at mabuti at nawala na medyo yung sakit ng dibdib ko. Thank God.
December 24, 2007

Heto ako, nagpapakapagod sa pagtatype ng mga nangyari sa akin. Happy Christmas! Dito lang kami sa bahay at bukas na kami uuwi sa Bulacan. Happy Holidays!!

meteors...

2007-12-14T23:18:00.000+08:00

I saw meteorss!! Yey! For the... second time? I remembered the last time that I saw meteors was when... I dunno. Basta nakasakay lang ako nun sa sasakyan ng cousin ko kung saan open yung likod kaya pwede kaming sumakay doon. We were from the cementery, I think. Tapos ayun.

But this time, sobrang pinaghandaan ko siya. I saw kasi in the TV na meron ngang mangyayari Meteor shower kaya sobrang tinandaan ko na. Tapos ayun kanina, nagtext bigla yung Ate ko na nasa gimikan na lumabas daw ako dahil may meteors. Aba kahit nanonood ako ng Marimar nun lumabas talaga ako tapos umakyat sa bubong namin. I was so excited to see meteors!!

Nakatingin lang talaga ako sa langit nun, it was my first time to see dozzzzzzzzen of stars. Ang ganda ganda talaga. Then sobrang na-struck ako nung may nakita akong isang meteor tapos may sumunod na dalawa.

That moment was sooo... amazing. Akala ko dati sa TV parng OA kapag nakakakita sila ng meteors na sobrang mapapawow ka at mapapabukas yung bibig mo. Totoo pala yun. Talagang mapapangiti ka.

Well, para sa akin. I waited for like ten minutes pero konti na lang yung nakita ko. Naku kung pwede lang talagang humiga sa bubong namin hindi na siguro ako bumaba. Kung pwede lang nakatingala lang ako hanggang 12.00.

Pero iniisip ko, at least nakakita ako ng tatlo or more diba. That's a good thing already kasi paminsan minsan lang naman may ganoong nangyayari.

I just love stargazing!

when everything change

2007-12-13T19:09:00.000+08:00

Have you ever had a moment in your life where everyone and everything you know just change? Like you just noticed it at that moment. It's just like you don't know that person or them anymore. You think of something that can make them change so suddenly. It may just be because they are tired or something.

I already had that moment. It just happened earlier in school with my friends. There's this one friend kasi. She became so moody this past few days, one moment she's talking and then suddenly she's masungit. I just find it so irritating.

Then it was our dismissal and I was with another friend of ours. Tapos nakakasalubong na namin siya with our another friend. Parang wala lang. Parang hindi kami nagsasama every recess and lunch. Tapos hindi na siya katulad ng dati na parang open na open. I mean I know what happened kung bakit hindi na kami ganung ka-close just like before. Pero it doesn't mean that she should close her life to me na diba?

I mean parang sa akin lang siya ganun eh. Nakakairita.

Cabalen, Trinoma

2007-12-08T23:02:00.000+08:00

It was a successful party held at Cabalen, Trinoma at 6.00 in the evening. Both of my parent's side family were there. Everyone's there. All dress for the birthday of my twin sibling. All greeting and giving out their gifts to them. Everyone seems to be in their good mood. After a while, they begun to eat.

I waited for my friend, Linette to come. I waited for five to fifteen minutes for her. Then we ate together just like we always do everyday. She told me about what happened on their way here. That's a long story so I will not put it here.

Okay naman siya. I mean the party. Well, for the celebrants, I think it was great. Because everyone that they invite came. They were having fun with their friends. It's good.

The event was something that I am expecting. Just a plain get-together, no program, no 18 candles or 18 roses. Corny I know. Haay.

When Linette left, I grouped with my cousin and second cousins. It was good talking and listening to their stories. Especially to Janella's story. =P

All I did was to take pictures of myself and some of my cousins and Linette. That's all I could do.

Right now, my siblings are now in Metrowalk, having their first legal gimik. Oh well. It's part of life. They're with our cousins and some of their friends. I hope they're having the time of their lives.

As for me? Well... I am doing what I love. =)

Oh la la!

2007-12-05T19:17:00.000+08:00

Okay. He is soooo hot. I mean gwapo. Handsome. Pretty. Whatever you want to call it but it should connect to thooose words. But he's face is sooo... priceless. I love him already when I first saw him in Grey's Anatomy. I don't know. There's something in his face that makes me sign deeply. Oh god. Who doesn't like his face?

Yeah, I know that there's an ongoing gossip about him having an attitude. I don't care. Everyone has its own bad side, right? People expect that actors are robots that can't be feel. But what makes everything wrong is when their 'bad' attitude is not in the right place. If they are acting so primadonna when they know that they are not soo popular. Or when they are mistreating people. Stuffs like that.

OH PATRICK!

Big girl

2007-12-04T16:55:00.000+08:00

I really need to be a big girl now. I need to face my responsibilities and to know them. I just realized that when I let my Mother sign in my MQPR. It's a report on how good or bad a student is making in the school. A record for short. The truth is, I am failing. All of my scores there are below the passing score. And unlike others who don't know what happened to their grades/scores. I know why. Because I am not taking my studies seriously. I need to pass. I need to pass Second Year. I need and I want to be a Junior next year!

Like my Father said, 'Marunong ako'. Did you know that when I was in Grade School I always receive honors and certificates? I know that I can pass my test, not with flying colors but I can have a good grade. I just need to be more responsible and sensitive.

I need to pass my Long Test Two this time. I may not get a high score but I will pass. I just need to study. I need to focus.

I know that I can do it.

Too obvious for them to be blind...

2007-12-01T14:51:00.000+08:00

I logged into my Friendster account to read my new comments from my classmate. Whenever I open my account there, I have a habit of opening some of the profile of my friends there. Tapos napunta ako sa account nung pinsan ko. Wala lang. Lagi ko kasing tinitignan yung pictures niya, she's sooooo beautiful. I am not saying that because she's my cousin huh, actually we are just second cousin but... whatever. She's soo beautiful. Kahit na sobrang walang ayos siya sa mga pictures niya doon, maganda pa rin. Okay here I am again... being insecure and stuff. Lalo na namang bumaba yung self-esteem and self-confident ko. HAAY.

Everybody's beautiful. As in lahat. I know that. But there are people that are beautiful when you first look at them, when you just accidentally glance at them, they're beautiful. While there are people (like me) na kailangan mo pang titigan or makilala just to say that they are beautiful. I mean... why does God created us to be like that?

It's just not fair.

Poem for You

2007-11-27T19:27:00.000+08:00

Depth of my Loneliness

Slowly as the petals from the abandoned flower scattered on the forsaken road,

The flower little by little withered as the cold wind gushed by,

Happiness and good memories are detached from our minds

But still some petals left in the flower are still holding on to the left memoirs.

Loneliness is filled inside the gloomy room but even how strident my heart is crying,

It is how soft my voice is when talking to them. Sadness is taking over me like the calm wind being ignored by everybody.

I can’t see you

But I know you’re always there guiding me from the pain,

I am sure you won’t leave me through this rocky journey

My lonesome shadow.

Saving me from the hurt that I’ve got,

From the melancholy who almost eat me up

The love from you will never I will own

But still, I’m still here

-Ana Gariplan

I made that poem, that's why it sucks. It's for our newspaper, I passed it when I was in first year. =P

Fieldtrip or not?

2007-11-20T17:08:00.001+08:00

Our field trip will be on Thursday already and tomorrow we need to pass the waiver saying if we are joining or not. Nung unang field trip sabi ko hindi ako sasama at iyon yung pinasa ko. Pero ngayon... I'm doubting. =I Isa lang naman kasi problema ko eh. I don't have a buddy, take it literally or anything.

Ano ba.

Putek naman.

More Conversation

2007-11-16T17:59:00.000+08:00

It was our club time when that happened. We were at the library to do some things. Then after a while, there club when to the library din to do some researching. I was 'excited' pa nga eh kasi he's in the library. Wala lang. Tapos... umupo silang magkakaibigan sa likod na table namin. I was talking with my classmate na friend and classmate niya sa club. He (my classmate) borrowed my fan as in pamaypay tapos nilalapit niya dun sa crush ko. Sinasabihan ko siyang epal nung nakita naman nung crush ko iyon. Ayun... nagtatatanong na siya. It's all about my friend na crush niya dati.

It was our longest conversation everrr... as in. He kept on asking about her kung may alam daw ba ako na secret. Basta iyon lagi yung tinatanong niya. Tinatanong ko nga siya kung ano iyon eh. Ayaw niyang sabihin. Tapos after then... inaasar niya na ako.

=)

HAAY.

2-B

2007-11-13T17:01:00.000+08:00

My classmates don't like me.

Cable gone?

2007-11-09T17:12:00.000+08:00

I just received my card for the Second Quarter, it is bad. There were nine subjects na bumaba. And it sucks dahil for sure tatanggalin na yung cable namin na kakakabit pala nung October 8, 2007! BWISIT! Haay.

Life really sucks.

Tapos.

Nagpapalpitate pa yung heart ko since last night. Nagpa-check na ako sa school doctor namin at sabi niya magpacheck daw ako sa cardiologist. Nagsearch ako sa net about Palpitations of heart. Normal lang daw iyon kapag parang na-overdose ka ng gamot. I mean like stimulants,etc. May iniinom akong gamot-slash-vitamins. Siguro dahil lang iyon doon. Kaya nawala na yung worry ko tungkol doon.

May good news naman na nangyari ngayon...

HEHE.

Nakwento sa akin ng friend ko na parang kinamusta daw ako nung LONG TIME crush ko. =)

Isn't that cool?

Sembreak is not sulit!

2007-11-04T16:20:00.000+08:00

Even though we went out of the country, I still feel that my semestral break is not sulit. I don't know why. Tomorrow everything will turn back to normal. I'll be sitting in the classroom of Second Year Section B where until now I still feel that I don't have friends. Even if Third Quarter had started, I know that I still don't belong in that classroom. But I can't do anything but to deal with it. One Quarter to go, I'll be in my Third Year already. I know... even if I am flunking, I can still manage to study well. I know I can do it if only I could fight with that darn thing called laziness. I am good. Babawi ako.

Good luck to me!

Bangkok 101

2007-11-03T20:27:00.000+08:00

We just got back from Bangkok, Thailand. As in Siam nung nakaraang century. Joke lang. Nung Tuesday pa kami bumalik. Pero don't worry, nakaget over naman na ako. I just want to share to you what happened to us there.

Okay let me start from the veeeeery start.

Day 1/2

I woke up at 5.30 in the morning, my usual time of waking up. I stepped out from my bedroom and of course, nahiga ulit sa couch at natulog ng fifteen seconds then ate a half of very light food. I think that's bread (I forgot). Then of course I prepared for my school tapos ayun pumunta na ako sa school.

Everything is still the same. My friends were the only one who's excited for me. =) Let me tell you about Maxine, my super duper kulit friend. Everytime na nakikita niya ako, sinasabi niya lagi na 'Bangkok'. As in. Paulit ulit. Mas excited pa nga siya sa akin eh. Tinanong ko nga sa kanya if everytime na nakikita niya ako may nakikita siyang malaking 'Bangkok' sa noo ko eh.

My day went fine. Nalaman ko pa na yung crush ko na first year na kaya pala siya absent kasi napaaga yung bakasyon nila. At take note, sa Canada pa! haha. Sosyal.

It was our dismissal time nung makita namin ni Maxine yung klasmeyt niya na nakasuot na Bangkok na shirt. So super tawa kami. As in kaming dalawa lang. Sabi niya 'It's a sign!!'

Maxine will always be Maxine.

Pagkauwi ko sa bahay... nagpahinga ako at naligo. (OKAY. HERE THE THING. DON'T TAKE A BATH IF YOU HAVE AN OUT OF TOWN OR OUT OF THE COUNTRY TRIP!)

Nagtaxi lang kami papunta sa airport dahil galing sa office yung parents ko tapos doon na sila deretso. OK naman. Dumaan kami sa The Fort. Natuwa ako dahil first time kong nakadaan doon. Nakita ko nga yung NBC tent eh. Sayang hindi ko nakita yung Embassy Super Club. Wala lang. Tapos ayun. Sa Park and Fly kami pumara tapos pumunta na kami ng NAIA Terminal 1. Sayang nga at hindi kami sa Centennial eh! Doon kasi kami dati eh nung pumunta kaming HK. Pero anyway... dahil may pinsan kaming nagtatrabaho doon, napadali yung pagcheck-in namin. Ayun. Nagstay kami sa Sampaguita Suite dahil may Tito kaming Supervisor doon. Yata. Ewan. Basta something like that. Asal mayaman nga kami doon eh. hehe. Tapos pumunta na kami sa waiting area at naghintay sandali. At dahil Cebu Pacific yung eroplano namin, nag-alok na naman sila. Dahil daw sobra yung mga passengers, pwede daw magbayad para bukas na lang yung flight tapos magcheck in daw sa hotel. Ewan ko basta ganun.

Then we're off to Bangkok. It was a three hour flight. At dahil may natutunan ako kay Sir Ted, alam ko kung bakit naging minus 1 yung oras ng Thailand sa Philippines. WAHAHA. At dahil 1 o'clock na ng madaling araw nun. Bangag na kaming lahat. Pero ang ganda ng airport nila huh. Bago pa lang daw kasi iyon eh. Ayun... naghintay kami ng shuttle na maghahatid sa amin sa hotel.

First House Hotel.

Okay naman siya. Hindi maganda hindi pangit. Okay lang talaga siya. Malinis yung kwarto, may tub, ang galing nung remote sa side table. Nakatulog naman kaagad kami.

Day 1 1/2 and 2

Gumising kami ng maaga dahil maaga yung sundo sa amin nung travel guide. Hindi nga lang ganoong masarap yung breakfast nila. Lalo na yung sausage! WALANG LASA! haha. Ayun... off to the Buddha Temple. At dahil takot ako sa mga malalaking bagay... ayoko doon sa temple. Nung una lang yun syempre. Nacarry ko naman siya. Puro pictures syempre. Tapos pumunta kami sa Jewelry Factory na parang sa China lang. Pero doon nanood pa kami ng History nung gem. Sosyal. Ayun paikot ikot lang kami sa bilihan nung mga alahas. Nakabili naman ako. Ng pair ng earrings. hehe. Ganda naman siya. Tapos pumunta kami sa Leather factory na kami lang yung tao. wahaha. Kumain kami sa buffet malapit sa hotel namin. Ayun hindi ko masyadong na-appreciate dahil ~~hinihika~~ na ako nun. Vwisit.

Day 3 and 4

Shopping shopping and elephant.

hehe. Dahil malapit lang kami sa mga tiangge... ayun dumating kami ng Bangkok ng puro isang stroller bag ang dala. Pag-uwi namin anim na bagahe namin. Sa sobrang daming pinamili. Pumunta kami sa Elephant and Crocodile thingy. Para siyang zoo eh. Nanood kami nung Elephant show. Nakakatuwa! PRAMIS! Ang cute nung mga elepanteng sumasayaw!! wahaha. Hindi ako nanonood doon sa crocodile eh! hihi. Tapos nagpicture lang kami sa ibang pang animal, may monkey, rabbit at tiger doon. BWISIT! Nakita ko pa yung kulungan nung ahas! ASARR!!

Nung last day namin doon. Nagcheck out kami ng 12 noon. At dahil 9.30 pa kami ng gabi susundui nung shuttle papuntang airport. Sa lobby kami nag-antay. Nakaupo lang kami doon. Lahat na nga ng dumating at umalis nakita namin at nakausap eh! Walang tulog yun! Biro niyo nagawa namin yun! Sobrang hassle! Tapos na-late pa yung shuttle ng ten or twenty minutes. Bwisit. Tapos sa airport... mga haggard na yung itsura namin! 1.30 pa ng madaling araw yung flight namin. At for five days ng walang internet, nakakita kami ng pwedeng mag-internet doon. Yung touch screen na parang pwedeng telepono na computer. Basta ang galing nga eh. Nakapag-friendster pa nga kami eh. Galing.

Mga 5.00 nasa Pilipinas na kami. HUWAW! Hindi pa nga ako nakatulog dahil ubo ako ng ubo eh. Wawa naman ako. Buong araw akong hindi nakatulog. FOR THE PERST TIME. Mga 6.00 nasa bahay na kami at nakatulog naman na ako nun.

Ayun ang maikling kwento ko tungkol sa Bangkok.

Maganda naman siya. Kung hindi nga lang ako nagkasakit lalo kong na-appreciate yun eeh!!

A Tribute to Janella

2007-10-18T21:37:00.000+08:00

Janella Fritz Gabriel Silverio.

My Mother and her Father are cousins so that make us second cousin. When I was younger I never thought that 'second cousin' exists. We got close in YM lang, hindi naman kami nagkakasama ng matagal eh. Every Christmas and sometimes in New Year pumupunta sila sa bahay ng Lola namin where we, family, spend our Christmas. Janella is a very funny girl, kahit na corny yung sinasabi niya matatawa ka sa kilos niya. She never fails to make me laugh everytime na magkikita kami. Wala kang makikitang mali sa kanya, she's beautiful, she's nice, funny and makwento. She's makulit talaga.

Nice to have a cousin like you, 'Jap-Jap!'

A Birthday to Remember?

2007-10-10T17:25:00.000+08:00

Last Monday, we celebrated my birthday. We ate at Burgoo in Gateway Mall. The food's fine. I actually can't choose the right food to eat in a restaurant, that's why everytime we eat in a restaurant, I can't finish my food. I don't know why. All I ever wanted was their desert. =)

My family asked them if they have any free food for the birthday celebrant. They said they give away a free sundae. Desert time came... I thought they just served the sundae. I didn't know na they would sing Happy Birthday to me. I was just... 'wow'. Coz if I can remember, the last time somebody really sang that song to me was when I was in elementary. It feels really good.

La lang.

Nakakatuwa lang. =P

A countdown and flashbacks

2007-10-02T17:31:00.000+08:00

It's been a while since I last updated my blog, as we all know, that's simply because I am too lazy to think about good thing to blog. It's our long test week so far I think... I doubt if I ever get a score as fine as my last LT had been. October's in, my month. Christmas is coming. Nothing has ever changed since... I was born? =P

I've decided to make a countdown until my birthday. So I came up with this...

Six day before the day [that was yesterday, October 1]
I finally knew that I am too ugly to function. I do know what the heck that means, okay. So you can ask me if ever you care. Why I said so? Because everyone thinks I am ugly, that I don't have any beautiful characteristics and such. Even I myself conclude that. I get irritated if I look at myself in the mirror. Mind you, both my siblings does have their own look. I mean... do you get what that look I'm trying to say? Surely they could get boyfriends and girlfriends, I bet some of their classmates has a crush on them. They both have their exes. I totally think I am a freak. I only know how to write stupid poems and articles. I don't know how to came up with a good conversation. I am not even smart, I get low grades even very low grades to the point that I fail an exam!

It sucks.

Five day before the day [that's today, October 2]
Nauntog ako sa service, umagang umaga. I am not sure where should I sit in my school service in the morning. I suck.

I bet this birthday will suck. And it will just be a normal day to everyone.

Student lang...

2007-09-21T22:02:00.000+08:00

Today's been weird. I think everybody's teasing me. I don't know why. It just sucks. Wala naman akong ginagawa sa kanila. Why are they so fond of teasing the weak one? May makukuha ba silang benefit doon? In the end of the day will teasing make them smile?

They're so pathetic. Really.

Anyway, life as a member of the school's newsletter is... fine. Nothing's up. Wala namang in-aassign sa akin. But they're busy on the upcoming 'thingy'...err...what do you call that... launching of the new newspaper. It will gonna be a magazine type na then they're going to change the title. Oh well... whatever they are up to... I don't care. As long as I can write articles... or poem.

Hmmm... well the moderator of the club... sort of gave us a sermon earlier... Wala na nga daw siyang ibinibigay na duty sa aming lahat, hindi pa namin ginagawa lahat ng pinapagawa niya. Natamaan din naman ako coz I admit, I'm one of them. Then... blah blah blah... She said na hindi lang siya mod ng club kung hindi English Teacher tapos kami student lang.

Just a student? Who just sit inside the four corners of our classroom and do assignments, quiz, recitation and exams... What they don't know that we, students, are experiencing things. Experiencing pain, hardships and challenges. They don't know how hard it is to be a student and a teenager. Teenagers who are still trying to find the pieces of ourselves... samantalang sila... they already found themselves and all they have to do is be successful in their fields.

We are not just students, teachers. =)

okay...

2007-09-12T17:15:00.000+08:00

I think everything is smoothly okay right now... I mean in my life. Well... nabati ko na kaya malamang magbibigay na naman ng problema si Lord. Kidding. =D Anyway, my parents got approved on their visa in US. I'm happy for them. At least they could go to New York anytime, right. =)

Long test week. We just have our Math test earlier. It was okay. I am 50% sure that I will pass. I just don't know about the other 50%. =D Tomorrow's our Bio and English test and still I am not studying. HAAAAAAAY!

The Joy Luck Club by Amy Tan, that's our Book Report for this quarter. And still I don't have the book kahit na malapit na ipasa. How great is that. Mukha naman kasing boring eh.

AsAr naMan!

dreadful tomorrow

2007-09-08T19:41:00.000+08:00

Sh!t. Sh!t and another sh!t. Oh god. Tomorrow's the release of report card. And darn, I surely got a very low grade in Mathematics! To think, I have received a Notice of Class Standing, popularly known as NCS and love letter. Students only receive that if they did not perform satisfactorily on a certain subject. If you have not passed all the quizzes, assignments and long tests. Unfortunately I'm one of them. Wala yata akong napasang quiz at assignment doon eh! Tapos I failed the exams pa! Paano na?! How I wish I got a grade no lower than 75. My parents surely will kill with their long sermons! Argh. Why am I not born with high IQ? Tapos they are expecting too much on me pa. Eh hindi naman ako matalino!

DARN!

(Oh by the way, try watching Daa! Daa! Daa! in Crunchyroll yung episode 12! Nakakatawa PRAAMIS) =D

wacky mind

2007-09-07T19:04:00.000+08:00

Options, chances and choices.

Those are the things life can't give everyday. Unlike happiness and sadness, we could feel it everyday if we want to. Those three things, it only comes for a while and it leaves too soon, that's why if it is possible grab those immediately. We may not see it personally or we may not see it as it is but surely we could feel it.
Sometimes, we have to be more sensitive on the things around us. In life, as in problems and challenge, options and choices are the things God gave us to help us solve all of it. But not most of the time or when we suddenly thought that we need those two, options and choices are there. It does not stand in front and wait for us to grab them. We need to be mature about things around us so that we could grab those precious opportunity on time.

Chances, it's one of the hardest thing to wait and to be talk to especially if any of us fought over with family and friends. If we did a 'little' thing to them and we hurt them. Saying 'sorry' can't really do anything about the pain and wound you cause them, fine, you are forgiven but are you sure that once you said 'sorry', the pain you let them feel suddenly just vanished?
Oh come on, everyone also have their own 'martyr' side. They will answer that it is OK even if they really know that it is really not OK. That even that single word called 'sorry' was said sincerely. If I were you, never ever do something to someone you love and care about. Coz it is really hard to get second chances. And even if they'll give you one, you are not 100% sure that it will turn out good.

umbrella

2007-09-05T18:33:00.000+08:00

After weeks of finding where I can download Umbrella by Mandy Moore. I finally have one. Thanks to Bea! ;)

If you are curious about it, you are free to hear the song. Yeah, si Rihanna nga ang nagpasikat niya. Sa totoo lang, I never liked her version pero ng marinig ko iyong version ni Mandy Moore. Waah. I fell in love with it na.

Haay. It's more relaxing kasi eh. I so love Mandy Moore! =D

crazy

2007-09-04T19:31:00.000+08:00

Internet's acting crazy, I don't know why, I'm not sure if it is because of the computer or the line is just crazy. =I You may not get what that smiley is, it should be straight face. Oh well.

It's been one hell of a week. Well, I know that this week is just starting but... you don't care. =P Ang raming nangyayari even if I am not aware of it. And I know many things will happen later soon. I am not just sure if it is a good or a bad thing. Darn it. People sucks, my classmates specifically, why? I don't know. I just like to say it. Well, they're good, really. It's just that... that... ugh, I can't explain it. xD

I know what's the good thing of being an ordinary student in school. If you are just an ordinary student, nobody will notice you, well, some may take that as a bad thing but for me, it isn't. People won't give a damn about you, they won't notice your dress, you new haircut, everything. While if you are "popular", they notice everything. Whether your new haircut suits you or not, whether you get low scores in test and the people you have a crush to. It's just sucks. Everyone in high school, is craving for attention.

Being an ordinary student, is better. Nobody will ever care if you are popular in college. =)

tada!

2007-09-01T16:08:00.000+08:00

I like this skin better. You like it too? =D It's so simple. Sorry hindi ako makontento sa isang skin eh. Pero I think I'm gonna stick to this one.

hmmm....

Have you ever come to a certain point where people ask you what's up with your life, how are you and are you okay but no matter how focus you on thinking of the answers... you'll gonna end up asking yourself also the same question? You don't know what's up with your own life, you don't know how you are and if you are okay. If so, then we are in the same point. I don't know what's up with my life, how am I and if I am okay right now. I don't know why. That's what I feel.
I'm gonna tell you what I am doing in my everyday life.
I wake up at exactly 5.30 in the morning, according to my ever dearest useless cellphone. Then I'm gonna eat something light like... bread or sausage. Then I'm going to take a bath for ten minutes then prepare for like 15 minutes. My school service will arrived at quarter to seven. I would watch my service mate sleep and see if he again will fall down on my shoulders. And that kind of irritate me, mind you. Another fifteen minutes ride to school. School bell will ring at 7.25 then class will start at 8.00 in the morning and it will end at 3.30 in the afternoon. I'm gonna have a short mingle with my friends until 3.45 then we'll go home. At home, it's really up with my mood if I'm gonna do my assignments then eat dinner then sleep.

Nothing interesting is happening with me. So... I don't really know what's really happening with my life.

How about you?

Unfair

2007-08-26T18:28:00.000+08:00

Our dog got out again and after five minutes or less, she finally went back that's after I gave her bone. While I was waiting for her to get inside, I was just outside our house calling her name. Then I saw a boy, our neighboorhood, copying me. Like he's pretending to be like me. Most of the people in the net may not get what I am saying but those people who know me as in personal. Surely they get what I am saying. Maybe that's why I rarely go out of our house because I am ~~afraid~~ sa mga bata sa amin. They make fun of me. They laugh at me and such. It really makes me really depress when people do that. That's why I think low about myself. I have a very pessimistic mind. Because of it.
Everytime I think of myself parang I should not love and appreciate things. That's why maybe nobody wants to be with me, nobody's being serious with me. Kaya siguro ganun sila dahil ganito ako. Gets? That's why even my mind got affected by that traumatic experience. Natatakot na akong lumabas kahit saan. Coz people are staring at me na parang I'm not a human. For God's sake, tao ako pero hindi lang ako katulad ninyo. Hindi man ako normal physically, I am normal ~~emotionally~~ and intellectually. Wala akong sakit. Nakakahinga ako ng maayos. It's so sad that people thinks that I am special like... na may sakit ako. That they should pity me. Eh wala rin naman silang magagawa eh.
Katulad nga ng paulit ulit na sinasabi sa libro na Purpose-Driven Life, God has a purpose that's why He make me like this. I may not know what the heck His purpose for me. All I know that my life is hard because of it.

One Step

2007-08-23T20:13:00.000+08:00

Okay... I already have my entry title look okay. But still it needs new font and color but Bea won't reply in YM. Oh! Thanks to Sigua sisters very much! You're a big help! Unlike Jan BIC!! hmph. Joke. =P
Anyway, this week is so good, after the super hard exams week... wala talaga kaming ginagawa ngayon. It feels so good. hehe. We are not doing anything, at least in my case. I am not really doing anything. Even if tomorrow is the day where every class need to prepare for the school fair this coming Saturday. I have no plan on helping them. I mean I won't help them ng kusa, if they need my help or if somebody ask for my help, that's the only time I'm gonna help. ;)
Plano ko nga sa Saturday, I won't be doing this marshall thing eh. I mean, I'm pretty sure that hindi naman na masusunod yung schedule or assigned thing, right? Ganun naman lahat eh. Anyway, I'm so excited for the fair!! This is my first time to attend our school fair, last year kasi I did not attend dahil wala pa akong friends nun. Pero ngayon I am so excited. Though my friends are planning something on me. Bad!!
hehe.
That's all. =)

High Schoo Musical 2?

2007-08-19T06:48:00.000+08:00

Is it out already? I mean in the theaters? Coz I already saw a news about it on Yahoo eh. Is it? Is it? Or just in the America part pa lang? Oh well... I don't really have plans to watch it on theater. OH!! It's going to air is Disney Channel, right?! Oh come on. Why would I ever forget!? That's where it started. Oh well... I still won't watch it. =D

Mind you, I like the first movie of HS. It's just that Zac Efron makes me sick. Besides that there's a news that he's acting so primma donna on set. The way he acts and sings so fake to me. And his hair, ugh, can't he even tell his hair styler to change his hairstyle?!
And the team Vanessa Hudgens and Zac Efron... it feels so unreal. I don't know. I guess they're just 'together' for the sake of their movie. That's what most Filipino actors and actress do whenever they have a movie together. And after a month or a year, you'll just hear that they're together with another actor/actress.

Isn't show business so unreal?!

(This is my blog and my opinion on things)

Storms

2007-08-17T20:35:00.000+08:00

Typhoon Dodong and Chedeng.... sucks.

Because of it we don't have classes for two days. That's why we can't continue our last day of exams. And the thing is, my studying capacity is only good for one day. Like right now, I can't remember the things I studied last night. =)

Pity me, guys. Go ahead. Kidding.

Oh god. Ate Xyla still did not fix my codes. Ayan tuloy. Ang pangit ng title ng entries ko. Haay. I pity myself na naman kasi I really don't know anything on blog. and codes thingy. Kahit simpleng things lang. Wala talaga. =(

HELP!

Meaning of Life

2007-08-08T14:32:00.000+08:00

What is a friend?

While I was browsing in teentalk, I saw that thread. I have no plan to put my entry there. I just want to read it. I don't know. Seriously, I don't know what's the real meaning of friends or friendship? Mind you, I have friends. But I think they just don't fit in any meaning of friends or friendship. I am not being bad or something, like I don't value them. It's just that, I really find it hard to explain what's the meaning of friendship.
Hindi ko alam kung maiinis ako o malulungkot sa sarili ko eh. Especially when I read this one: Listens hard and reaches out. She helps you whenever you're in need, and will always be ready to listen. Someone who would accept you for who you really can be.
Sa totoo lang, feeling ko whenever I tell them something. They just don't listen or they'll change the topic. I have this friend nga eh. Nasabi ko na yata iyon. Na parang ako yung least niyang friend. Hindi ko alam kung may kulang ako o sadyang hindi lang ako enough for them, na-i-treat nila ako ng ganun.
Hindi ko sinasabi ito sa kanila, hindi ko alam kung bakit pero baka wala na namang makaintindi sa akin.

Haay part 2

2007-08-08T13:37:00.000+08:00

'No classes due to the typhoon'. I don't know if I'll be happy or not. Well, I'm happy coz we would not be having our PE exams today. Sad because I don't... get to see him? hehe. Daya nga eh. Si Linette kahit papano nakita yung crush niya. argh. Tapos yung crush ko. ARGH.
Anyway, I woke up at exactly 5.30 as my alarm clock stated. Malakas pa rin ang ulan pero tumayo pa rin ako at lumabas ng kwarto. Binuksan ko kaagad yung TV at nanood ng Unang Hirit. Wala namang sinabi doon na suspended ang klase. Kung meron man, may specific na school na sinasabi. Tulog pa yung Mama ko, which was kind of odd because whenever I woke up every morning, gising na siya at nagluluto. Siguro akala niya wala talaga kaming pasok nun. Ayun... ginising ko lang siya coz I thought wala pa akong PE uniform na naka-plantsa. Tinanong niya kung may pasok daw kami, sabi ko ewan ko at wala pa namang sinasabi. Ayun.. nagising na silang dalawa ni Papa. We called the school pero walang sumasagot. Naka-dalawang sagot lang siguro sila sa amin at sinabi na hindi pa daw nila alam dahil wala pang sinasabi yung principal. Haaiizz. Naligo na rin ako sa ~~nakakamatay~~ na tubig. Bwisit. Sobrang lamig. Para ngang galing sa yelo yung lumalabas sa shower eh.
Siguro mga before 7 na-confirm namin na wala talagang pasok. Kung kailan nakabihis na ako at lahat lahat. hmpf. Ayun... natulog na lang ulit ako at nagising ako ng mga 11 o'clock. Kumain na kami at nanood na ako ng Foxy Lady. hehe.
So ngayon... teentalk na lang ako buong maghapon. HAAY.
Talagang nagkwento lang ako noh. Wala kasi akong maisip na ma-blog eh. So kwento na lang. Pwede naman diba? I own this blog. I can do whatever I want. =P

Another skin!

2007-08-07T19:14:00.000+08:00

Phew. After some ~~hours~~ I already have a comment thing from Haloscan. Yay. I got it because I won't be going to put any cbox in my blog. Why? Because of it, I am moving to Livejournal. Some heartless people are abusing it. Anyway, I think this will be my permanent skin... ~~for a while~~. Ayun... thanks a bunch to my bestfriend, JEM!! Mwah mwah.
What happened today?
Hmmm... I got an NCS in Math. As Linette said a while ago, lahat ng nakakakuha nun is nasa line of 7 na yung grade. So I start to panic na, knowing a little thing about myself. I surely need to study hard. For me to really pass the exam next week. I mean, okay, this is not my first time to get an NCS in Math but this is my first to panic because of it. Ang hirap na kaya ng lessons ngayon.
I so hate Diophantus. Why does he need to invent Algebra?!! argh for him.
So anyway, enough of cursing that man. He's dead and Algebra is widely spread around the world. *rolls eyes* I really really need to study.
Help me God!!
Ayun... I already have a new crush, good for me and for them. He's so cute. May parang na-realize nga ako sa isa kong friend eh. I don't really know what's the right word for it eh. Pero I would say na parang 'I'm the last one'. I mean for the ranking sa friendship. (Okay fine. I know this isn't right) Ako siguro yung huli for her. I just feel it. Hindi ko alam kung totoo ah. Pero iyon yung nakukuha sa actions niya towards me ah. I want to ask her naman about it pero I don't how. I told this one to Linette pero parang wala lang. Medyo naba-bothered din ako pero I'd rather forget about it. Baka feeling ko lang yun.

Anyway... PE exam is tomorrow. We'll surely going to have a low score because of me. I can sense it. Bakit kaya ganun sila? Especially toot and toot. Parang ayaw nila sa akin.

HAAAAY.

Torture Week

2007-08-05T16:29:00.000+08:00

This coming week will be our review week, it means they're going to give us lots of works and projects. Argh.

Why stick?

2007-08-01T17:31:00.000+08:00

Me and my friends were suddenly talk about our schoolmates, I mean the cliques and everything. We all have different view about cliques in high school. Pero yung sa amin... is just like any cliques in school. They stick to their circle, I mean nangliligaw lang sila within their circle.
It is not that I care but I find really cliche.
Oh well... we all have our own life. Why bother to care about others?

A simple story

2007-07-28T16:47:00.000+08:00

As I enter the dark room filled with unknown faces, I tried to smile and tell myself that everything is going to be okay. Only a day had passed and the optimistic thought suddenly became a dark thought. I was wrong, this isn't easy. I don't want to be in this room for ten months. I have nobody to turn to and ask if everything is going to alright. Others are simply ignoring me and just know that I am just another ordinary person. I am alone. I will be force to stay here, alone and feeling melancholy.
'Can somebody help me from this rocky path I chose?' I yelled but everything suddenly turned to black, I am literally alone here, the chairs, tables and the peoples surrounds me are gone. I feel so helpless, I tried to run hastily but it's as if I am not moving but still I kept on running and I suddenly stumble because I can't help my tears to run out like the water in the lake..
Nobody's here. Nobody is going to help me. I am all alone here.
And suddenly, I saw a hand stretching out on me. I looked up to know who is that kind individual. I was surprised and at the same time delighted to see that it is Friend. It never really disappoint anybody. It always come at the right place and at the right time. It is always there to help us and gladly stretch it's hand to help us.

I wonder if you have a friend like this. =)

Lipat Bahay

2007-07-27T22:13:00.000+08:00

I'm back to Blogger. Hope this will last. After a months of trying to get back my account here, I finally got it back. BUT. I still can't log in. I don't know why so I still need to open the link Blogger gave me just to log in. Argh. What's with Blogger and me?! It seems that I can't get any good thing here.
Well, honestly I like better here because I can have skins unlike in LJ, I can only choose from a very limited offer. Huh.

Anyway... I would like to share you something.

Asthma is a chronic disease of the respiratory system in which the airway occasionally constricts, becomes inflamed, and is lined with excessive amounts of mucus, often in response to one or more triggers. These episodes may be triggered by such things as exposure to an environmental stimulant (or allergen), cold air, warm air, moist air, exercise or exertion, or emotional stress. In children, the most common triggers are viral illnesses such as those that cause the common cold.^[1] This airway narrowing causes symptoms such as wheezing, shortness of breath, chest tightness, and coughing. The airway constriction responds to bronchodilators. Between episodes, most patients feel well but can have mild symptoms and they may remain short of breath after exercise for longer periods of time than the unaffected individual.

I already have asthma since birth. I got hospitalized since I was born and stayed for weeks. Literally, every month I am confined in a hospital because of it. Since the very start I already have a weak body. To tell you, I was in the incubator for a week since I was born. Doctors said that it's very small chance that I'll live.
But here I am, living my damn life for fourteen years. I don't know why God choose to let me live. To experience this kind of hard life that I have right now? And also another reason why I am in the incubator was because I have a hard time in breathing, I am not like everyone else. really. From the very start, I am weak. Maybe that's why I am like this now. I became weaker than I was before. Maybe that's why God is giving me more problems and pain unlike the regular teenagers. He's giving me this to make me strong but I guess he is not succeeding because I am becoming weaker and weaker.

Life isn't really unfair. Why would He give me a hard life? Why would He choose to let me stay in this body? Here I am again... asking God, all my 'why's' in life. But I know that I won't get any answers from Him.

haay.